Aiding and abetting the terrorist in you
 
To the memory loss of Charlton Heston
 08 April 2008
Issue 20
Mugabe Calls for Election to be Resolved by Hand Vote

Coroner Rules Out Inquest into Death of Dodi al Fayed

NASA Discovers Volatile Planet Between Venus and Mars


Bush Consoles Charlton Heston After God Rejects Him

Girl's Relationship with Boyfriend Compromised by Death of Boyfriend

Stoner Admits he 'Once Experimented with Politics'

Obese Local Man Sheds a Whopping £48 at McDonalds

Derby County Close Gap on Man Utd to Just 66 Points
 







 












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NASA Discovers Volatile Planet Between Venus and Mars
By The Proper Gandhi 08-April-2008
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Planet 'may not support intelligent life'
In what may prove to be the most significant discovery of the 21st century, NASA scientists say they have found a hostile, water-rich planet between Venus and Mars.

The planet, which is estimated to be around 92 million miles from the sun, is said to be extremely volatile with frequent eruptions occurring in its Middle Eastern region.

"I just can't believe it. We neglected this beautiful but harsh planet for so long and suddenly it came up on our radars", said NASA scientist, Andrew Sallis. "What we've found in the Middle East region is very unusual. I certainly wouldn't recommend landing there". Unpredictable behaviour in the planet's western hemisphere is estimated to be the catalyst behind much of the planet's extreme atmosphere, while Sallis believes any volatile reactions "could be to do with all that oil down there".

Meanwhile, scientists say they are unable to confirm the existence of intelligent life on the surface, with Sallis saying, "this planet may have supported it long ago, but if life exists down there now, it's completely fucked".


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