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 15 January 2008
Issue 15
Hilary Clinton Loses Key Vote in US Primary School

Hain Discovers that "Just Getting on with the Job" is Not a Legal Defence

Chinese Government to Crack Down on Underage Thinking


News in Pictures

Bill Clinton Pledges to Undo Key Mistakes of Laura Bush Legacy 


Blair Applies for EU President Job in Desperate Bid to Make Ends Meet

Tragic Boy Stopped, Looked But Failed to Listen

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Chinese Government to Crack Down on Underage Thinking
By The Proper Gandhi 15-Jan-2008
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Many binge thinkers do not know their own limits, says the Government
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The Chinese government has announced plans to tackle underage thinking in the country, with ID checks to be carried out on YouTube users nationwide. The news comes on the back of the Communist Party's decision to replace the social networking site MySpace with the state sponsored MaoSpace.

Speaking to Chinese television, the country's President, Hu Jintao, announced that the party is going to pass legislation making it illegal for minors (anyone under 40) to engage in any thinking whatsoever.
 "We cannot allow minors to destroy their lives by thinking too much.  We've already launched our 'Think Responsibly' poster campaign, but the level of binge thinking in China is still a problem", said Hu.

Correspondents say that as the Communist state has gradually relaxed its control, more and more young people are going on late night thinking sessions, with disastrous consequences.

After a long night's thinking, many young Chinese end up in police detention. "Our prisons are unable to cope with the influx of binge thinkers who don't know their own limits", said regional minister Jie Feishing.

National statistics from 2007 suggest there is a strong link between heavy thinking and politically aggressive behaviour, resulting in a record number of Anti-Socialist Behaviour Orders being handed out last year.

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