The world of politics was unsurprised today to learn that British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has consistently lied about her origins as a human. However, the revelation regarding where in fact it was that she did originate from has shocked even her most die hard supporters.
In a statement made to the House of Commons this morning, Ms Smith announced that, contrary to the belief that her place of birth is in Malvern in Worcestershire, she was in fact born inside Newcastle University’s science laboratory as an embryonic clone of Labour’s Deputy Leader, Harriet Harman.
News networks have today been littered with images of the two women, who for a long time were thought by members of the opposition to have been “indistinguishable” from one another. Today, however, it was confirmed that Ms Smith, now appearing to be in her late 40s, was extracted from Ms Harman’s egg cells back in 1996.
“The cloning experiment from which I was conceived was absolutely top secret”, said Smith. “Accordingly, I have been prohibited from divulging any information regarding the experiment, but following growing suspicion over mine and Harriet’s physical similarities, we chose to speak out and let the world know our secret”.
The announcement appeared to have a profound effect on Foreign Secretary David Miliband, who told the Daily Fortnight: “Well I never! I honestly thought that Jacqui and Harriet were the same person all this time. So am I also to believe that Tessa Jowell is not a made up character either? Damn, well that’s put a damper on my bedtime fantasies”.
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