Daily Mail Set to Cease Publication
By Christien Haywood ◦
15-April-2008
The ultimate edition hits news stands tomorrow
The Daily Mail has dramatically announced that
tomorrow's publication of the national newspaper will be its last.
Mail editor Paul Dacre said that
tomorrow's controversial front story is widely expected to
encapsulate the sum totality of previous
Daily Mail headlines, thus
rendering future editions pointless.
“We’ve been so close over the years to creating the ultimate headline", said Dacre. "Finally we've cracked it; Pro-abortion EU-bureaucratic benefit-cheating immigrants may have killed Diana to affect house prices. There's surely no need to carry on printing after that"
Several notable media commentators have expressed their surprise that the headline failed to include references to the hunting ban, as well as Britain's failing education system and cancer treatments.
Upon being made unemployed, many Daily Mail workers are expected to seek out benefits, sell their houses at fallen costs and reluctantly work with immigrants in order to scrape by.
“We’ve been so close over the years to creating the ultimate headline", said Dacre. "Finally we've cracked it; Pro-abortion EU-bureaucratic benefit-cheating immigrants may have killed Diana to affect house prices. There's surely no need to carry on printing after that"
Several notable media commentators have expressed their surprise that the headline failed to include references to the hunting ban, as well as Britain's failing education system and cancer treatments.
Upon being made unemployed, many Daily Mail workers are expected to seek out benefits, sell their houses at fallen costs and reluctantly work with immigrants in order to scrape by.
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