Super Satire Tuesday!
 
 05 February 2008
Issue 18
Super Tuesday 'Just Another Drab Tuesday' for Rest of World

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Super Tuesday 'Just Another Drab Tuesday' for Rest of World
By The Proper Gandhi 05-Feb-2008
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A report issued today has revealed that America's Super Tuesday will likely be just another drab and forgettable Tuesday to non US residents around the world. The day, which sees more than 20 states hold presidential primaries and caucuses in the US, is unlikely to feel as super in nations where "this kind of inexplicable behaviour doesn't happen" , says the report.

"Mediterraneans can expect a pretty run-of-the-mill Tuesday - not amazing, not terrible but sort of alright", whereas residents across the rest of Europe are in for a pretty woeful Tuesday.

Of course, the UK, Ireland and Australia will celebrate Shrove Tuesday on this day, but while pancakes may be a lot of fun, they're certainly not super".

The report also drew on findings from third world countries, where "nothing much is expected to happen at all". Meanwhile, US economists have ruled out the possibility of a "Super Black Tuesday" - a term used to describe a "second and more damaging Wall Street Crash".

"Don't worry. A catastrophic stock market crash is the sort of thing we work hard to avoid. We won't see one of them for another couple of weeks", said one expert.

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