A poor, unarmed pint of Carlsberg was viciously murdered in broad daylight yesterday by an alcohol-starved man, say onlookers and frequenters of the Hamilton Pub in Thoresby Street.
Gerald Fowler allegedly waltzed into the pub at around 4:20 and appeared visibly distressed following what he apparently described as the "worst day of my life".
"Get me a pint before I explode", came the ominous demands of the 34-year-old call centre operative. "It's just been a long day", he added, before sitting his aching body down at the bar.
Barman Chris Williamson, charged with complicity in the plot, is believed to have personally served the Danish beverage to Mr Fowler just prior to the time of the incident.
At precisely 4:23 Fowler was seen grabbing the pint by the neck, amid self-directed utterances of the phrase "I suppose whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
"You could tell he was frustrated about something", said eyewitness, Jacqui Callaghan. "He was telling the guy next to him what a shit hole his workplace was and how he was becoming disillusioned with a lot of things in his life. Afterward, he downed that poor pint as if it were a glass of water".
Meanwhile, in what has been deemed a carefully orchestrated revenge plot, an alcoholic group comprising of five Newcastle Brown Ales, three double Jack Daniels' and a trio of Tequila Slammers are thought to have left Mr Fowler physically beaten this morning.
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